I can't think of much that has happened. I am making progress on my animation. For some reason, people seem to like it (or else they are sabotaging me with bad advice and false compliments). I think I've felt so isolated in my process thus far that any attention at all is surprising. I don't know, I guess I haven't really imagined this seeing the light of day. I've revised some work since yesterday, which is good for me.
I had a terrible dream yesterday night. I am even too ashamed to write it here, a page of my HTML diary that no one will ever read. But it was an evil expression of my subconscious, and it made me feel awkward talking to certain people. There was a kiss upon a cheek that was as soft and hard and cold as a marble sculpture. Maybe I dreamt this in part because of learning about Greek sculpture in art history.
I haven't told anyone that I'm in art history. I am ashamed. (My life is organized around shame, apparently.) It's too bad, because I'm actually really enjoying it, and I'd like to share my knowledge with someone. I've just been playing it off as a "passing interest" with no concrete tether to anything I'm actually doing in my academic life.
Last night I held an animation study group meeting, which was fine. We are for sure doing the 48 hour film fest, and I emailed Brett today. People actually seem interested and excited, which is great! I'm excited too! I didn't think anyone would be excited! Why do I do things if i really think nobody will like the things I want to do? Do I really feel so isolated? Or am I just trying too hard to be a hipster?
We did Thomas's collaborative morphing animation. My back is acting up again. I'm old. I stayed there the longest, even though I have my entire senior project to complete. But it was fun. I think mine and Skyler's turned out the best. I even signed up for a slot in the black box. I exude competence.
This morning I went in early to work on my animatic, which turned out to be actually pretty OK. People really seem to like my sound design, which is strange, because it's really, really not that hard to do. It's barely a hobby of mine. I haven't even read anything about it. And it was like, sure, my sound design, but the animation???? Is that ok?? or should I quit school my last semester and do sound design for a living? Idk. Kinda made me feel bad. But anyway, I went to a presentation this morning about ballet shoujo manga. It was an incredible presentation and I'm so, so glad I went. Took notes on my phone and everything. There's a series of lectures next week as part of the faculty biennial, and I'm going to try to go to as many as possible. My life for the foreseeable future will be senior project work, and my hobby will be eating food, showering, and attending educational events, like lectures, or free plays, or an architecture tour, which is tomorrow morning, which, speaking of, I should really, really go to bed for soon.
My seminar class was fine. Tom showed his film, which made me sad, but it's so, so much better with Anna's animation as opposed to mine. So I think it's for the best, though I have squandered this opportunity. Sigh. So many opportunities squandered. I am Marcie the Squanderer. Why am I so stupid? But anywayyyyyyyyyyy yeah people seemed to be fine with my animatic, and Tom seemed to like it, and he reacted FAR more positively than he did the first week, which was basically, "Wow, ur fuked." Today, he seemed to like it. Said it looked cool, or whatever. I don't have much done yet. But I'm slowly chipping away at the block. Another marble thing. Sabrina's is absolutely breathtaking, which is why I decided to present before her...lolz.
After class I chatted with Bree and Sabrina (and various others who came and went without speaking) for literally four hours. I don't even know. It was wild. Friends are nice to have.
I may be going to brunch on Sunday with Carlos and Leanne and Katie. It will be...a time. Leanne suggested a "really good brunch deal" which was only "26 dollars" because she is fucking crazy. I wonder why Carlos seems so thirsty for friendship all of a sudden. Ben called yesterday morning. He called all of us. He wanted to remember "where [he] came from" and decided to call up a few "EP cats." These are direct quotes. Cats. But, Ben. Carlos, I feel, uses us in the same way Ben uses us. Purely at his own convenience. To them, we are stagnant entertainers. Clowns on call. I'm not into it. Carlos would probably be really mad if I told him I thought these things.
I finished some animation today. It's really more of a still frame, but, still...I finished it. A whole two seconds in about two hours! Incredible. I could finish a whole 60 second animation in a week, no problem. No problem at all.
Now I sleep. I should shower. I have been eating garbage. Just coffee and rice krispie bars and chicken sandwiches. I am obese. I will be obese soon. I wish it wasn't so easy for me to become obese. I am so fucking exhausted.