I usually write these entries in the morning the day after, but it is 10 pm the night of and I feel comfortable with the finality of my day.

I was sad this morning. I had a strange dream where a pile of crystallized dead skin cells fell onto me, and I was at once afraid and disgusted and depressed. Somehow, that dream affected me all morning — or the whole day, really — and I found myself alternating screaming at my mother and sitting quietly on my bedroom floor, wondering at what point did my life go all wrong. I've been thinking too much about my education and how I dropped out of UCLA, but how I barely even made it into college, and how high school was so incredibly hard for me, even the easiest classes, and how my failure then still impacts me today, and that I am unintelligent and incompetent and will never amount to anything in life!

But that's all in the past. I had four slices of pizza and two diet Mountain Dews and chatted with friends (who all seemed quite happy to see me), and now, all is well. I rushed to school after realizing that there was a mandatory dorm meeting today, and I unpacked all my things in less than an hour, without the help of my mom, who stood around mussing up my bed and fiddling with various bottles of oils and sauces, all the while complaining about her knee, her back, her hands, her arms, her regret in giving birth to me, a procrastinating piece of tuberous starch (i.e. a potato).

I comfort my insecurity in my inability to succeed academically with my love of entertainment and humor — these nerds can't possible be as funny as me, they're studying too hard for school! What losers! But, in my heart of hearts, I know this is not true. Plenty of highly intelligent, academically successful people are funny. Conan went to Harvard. Where did I go? MCAD, of all places. This hub of rejected youth with neon hair and a penchant for indie social justice, i.e. social justice that rejects regular social justice for being too mainstream, preferring instead the social justice of the most marginalized people in existence, whoever they may be at the time. I was standing in line for pizza, feverishly texting the one person I text in hopes of deterring anyone from striking up conversation with me, and one girl screamed to another person, across the lawn, "I LOVE YOU!!", and in that very moment I knew I hated MCAD. At least I hate the underclassmen. They are so shiny and optimistic. "Everyone is so nice!", they say. "Everyone has such cool hair!" Don't they realize that it's cooler now to have pure, undyed hair? Luscious, untainted locs are very in right now. They also make a person look more mysterious, because personality cannot be inferred. Is the person with flowing natural hair shy or outgoing? Gentle or sarcastic? Hipster or normcore?

Here is (what I believe to be) an accurate taxonomy of hair color:

This list is 100% accurate. Anyway, I got a bunch of pizza and chatted with Ameesha for a bit. It was nice to see her. It seems like she had a hard time this summer with family issues — her family was deported, of all things, which is so unfathomably awful because they really were just spontaneously uprooted from their community for an as-of-yet unidentifiable reason — so I don't fault her for any mistakes she made. I hope she comes out of MCAD successful, at least on some level.

My roommates seem fine. They are both extroverted, and I'm pretty sure one of them has no idea that I'm her roommate. Also, every time I see her outside, she's surrounded by a harem of boys. The other, my bedroom roomate, seems chill and normal and hipster-y. She smokes weed and has a record player. Another observation: not only is our trash can already completely full but our recycling bin is too — stuffed to the brim with empty Pabst Blue Ribbon cans. Do I live with an alcoholic, or did one of them already have a party? Are they even 21 yet? All mysteries yet to be solved. I have no air conditioner and am sweating BUCKETS, just, all the time, and it feels almost like I'm about to slip-n-slide right out of my undergarments.

I've put up only one poster so far: "We Are Working All The Time!" I have class tomorrow: Studio and Set. We'll see how that goes. Tonight I will read, and Tuesday I will write my entire senior project. Wish me luck. I NEED IT DESPERATELY.